How to fix a dating mistake


20-Aug-2017 16:02

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You want to get to know the person and each have a chance for a fresh start.Carrying old baggage into a new relationship amounts to clutter.We don't want to "settle," and the quest for the perfect mate can cause us to overlook or undervalue a truly good partner.Alternatively, we might be so fearful of getting hurt, betrayed or rejected, that we exit stage left just as the play gets going. Do you plunge into the deep end, only to find that the water is way too cold? Getting overly involved too soon is a big red flag.Assertiveness is not to be confused with being bossy or demanding.Being tactful and direct is the quickest path to relationship success. Sacrificing too much to get the relationship: If you find that you are doing things you would not otherwise do to get someone's attention, like bending over backwards and injuring your spine in the process, then you are entering the land of the doormats.A healthy relationship is one between two equals, both giving and receiving in reciprocal fashion.If you find that you are in a relationship that has a lot of benefits but there are some kinks that need to be addressed, best to discover effective ways of handling these conflicts early on.

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This form of manipulation is simply unacceptable (to put it mildly), and does not lead to healthy relationships.

If you have baggage, then best to work it out in individual therapy before pursuing a new relationship, at least to a point where it isn't affecting your reactions and clouding your judgment. Fantasizing about the future: While men are typically (not always) the masters of game playing, women have this one down pat.

When you catch yourself trying on his last name before the third date, it's time to remind yourself to slow down.

Let things evolve a bit, as you get to know someone. Avoidance of intimacy: While this one is traditionally men's domain, women are quickly catching up in the fear of commitment zone.

Patience and restraint are required here, even though you may feel pressed for time. Modern society imposes so many requirements and expectations on what makes for a "good catch," and that makes it hard to sort through whether someone would be a good choice for us.

If fear of commitment is an obstacle, better to work out your patterns schemas in therapy than in your relationships. If you do it, then you need to pace yourself, and be more considerate of the other person, who you are probably leading on. Not being honest about your needs: Pretending everything is OK can work for only so long.



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