How to handle a player dating
But it’s just the opposite — real power is the ability to maintain intimacy. Power and strength of this caliber have no fear of being honest and direct.Games are an ego default when being “real” feels too scary. Being open and honest is a gift that’s born of inner confidence and self-worth. Once you recognize this pattern, you’ve already gained your freedom from the automatic response instigated by your partner’s game. Authentic communication reveals your partner’s fears, allowing their concerns to be voiced and worked out while maintaining connection. This is a partner who’s in the game for an ego boost and doesn’t possess the skill set required for a relationship with you. Your time’s better spent with someone who is capable of honesty, intimacy, and consistent behavior. Do they want to explore the possibility of a relationship with you? It’s long been the rule that when dating someone whose behavior is marked by hot and cold reactivity, you’re standing on shaky ground.This is the core thinking of the partner who initiates hot/cold, and serves as their safety net to vulnerability. Because relationship uncertainty makes human beings yearn for stability.A hot and cold player reverts to cold as the norm, with bursts of hot that don’t result in forward movement.The cycles of hot and cold may make you feel like the powerless one. One minute you’re high on the warmth of their attention, the next minute you’re frozen out and left wondering what happened. Whether you call it push/pull, on/off, or hot and cold, the end result is the same. Whether done consciously or unconsciously, this type of behavior activates longing and pursuit. If we don’t understand the game of hot and cold, we can find ourselves pulled into a drama of confusion. Understanding this type of behavior is crucial even for those of you committed to not playing games.
When one enters your life, you could be forgiven for believing that they are a gift from the gods – and that is exactly what they want you to think.
The best way to handle a hot/cold tug of war is to proceed to honest questioning. If so, then you may have stumbled upon a highly sensitive and fearful individual. These are easy questions to ask when you know what you want and what you deserve. For those who are straightforward, there’s little interest in anyone who plays games.